One thing that is true about adoption work is that although many stories are similar, no two are exactly alike. Each story about adopting a child is as unique as the precious children themselves. Those who work in adoption agencies are a special kind of individual. They are advocates, peacemakers, champions, and cheerleaders. They seek to bring about a triple-win: a win for the birth parents, the adoptive parents, and the child.
There are many qualities that make up a great agency staff member. The first and foremost are compassion and integrity. This means being responsive and answering questions that birth and adoptive families have honestly, even if that answer is not exactly what someone might want to hear. Adoption agency management and staff should also never be trying to “sell” someone on making a decision that is not right for them, or the child.
The next two are patience and endurance. Whether interacting with a birth family, or a potential adoptive family, Agape Adoption Agency staff strive to build meaningful, healthy connections with families, and show patience and love, especially since there are often some hard days for all individuals involved in the process of adopting a child.
For agency staff, there are many late nights, early mornings, and weekend hours. There are joyous celebrations and moments of tears. All of this is worth it, though, because the children we place, as well as their birth and adoptive families, are a treasure to us.
We want to tell you the story of little *Noah and his forever family, Brian, Jennifer, and their kids.
Brian and Jennifer have four biological children, two of whom are adults, and two teens still at home. For many years, Jennifer had felt a calling in her heart that their family should be a fostering family, however, Brian did not necessarily agree on that vision but was still supportive of Jennifer’s heart.
About two years ago, though, he came to Jennifer and said, “Are you still thinking about fostering? I think it’s time for us to talk about this again.” They attended one of Agape’s informational presentations and began the process of becoming licensed foster parents.
Unbeknownst to her, Jennifer’s sister and her husband had also gone through the licensing process to become a foster family. They welcomed 4-year-old Noah into temporary placement in their home, but things were not going well.
Noah exhibited some very troubling behaviors, like swearing, spitting, biting, hitting, and throwing and breaking objects. He was even kicked out of preschool on his first day for breaking the teacher’s computer. Jennifer’s sister was unsure if her family would be able to care for Noah, given these issues. That’s when Brian and Jennifer offered to foster Noah in their home, temporarily.
Noah’s violent and defiant behavior continued, but Brian and Jennifer offered him patience and grace. Jennifer saw through the acts themselves and realized that he was trying to communicate in the only way he knew how. You see, Jennifer’s sister’s home was actually Noah’s 6th foster placement. He told stories of past neglect, emotional, and even sexual abuse from previous foster families.
Jennifer decided early on that she did not ever want to have an attitude of fixing Noah’s behavior, but simply to help his broken heart. “I didn’t want to correct him, I just wanted to love him.” She would greet him every morning with joy and excitement at his presence in their home. Their family would also show him appropriate affection, something Noah was not used to. They also brought him to church and Sunday school each week.
Although not nearly overnight, Noah’s whole being began to change. He even started to affirm Jennifer. “Mom, I love your face!… Mom, I love your cooking!” He even shared very honestly that although all those terrible things had happened to him, that “God is healing my heart.”
Brian and Jennifer adopted Noah on November 23rd, 2019.
[*This is a true story about the journey of adopting a child. The names have been changed to preserve the anonymity of the subjects]
