You don’t need formal special education training to foster children who struggle with special needs or developmental delays. What you do need is a willing heart to learn about and understand how to help these kids thrive. You’ll also need an extra portion of grace and endurance.
Here are some tips to help you successfully navigate interactions with your special-needs children:
- See and Learn Each Child as an Individual—No child is defined by their diagnosis or struggle that makes them who they are. As you get to know them, you will learn more about what makes them come alive. Typically, a child with special needs sees the world differently than you do and learns differently too. So don’t expect otherwise.
- Create a Structured and Safe Environment—It’s so important to keep routines as predictable as possible to help your child feel secure. Use visual schedules, timers, and clear instructions to aid in comprehension. Warnings before transitions are extremely helpful. For instance, when you know your child will have to stop playing to eat dinner, give them 15-minute, 10-minute, and 5-minute warnings. To create a physically safe environment, modify your home to meet any sensory or mobility needs your foster kids may have.
- Educate Yourself on Their Specific Needs—Do your due diligence to learn about your child’s diagnoses, challenges, and strengths. Stay informed about available therapies, interventions, and accommodations that may help. Also, connect with specialists like licensed counselors, occupational therapists, physical therapists, speech therapists, and special-education professionals.
- Advocate for Their Needs—Work closely with your foster child’s school to make sure that they are getting the right kind of support (in the form of IEPs, or 504 plans, for instance). Also, communicate with caseworkers and medical professionals about any resources that can help your child function well in other situations: community events, church gatherings, etc.
- Consider Joining a Support Group. Local or online support groups (or both!) can provide excellent advice and strategies. These groups have power to offer you encouragement and boost your morale. The support you receive from a group like this could eventually make the difference between your child’s thriving or merely surviving, because your foster child will benefit from everything you glean.
- Provide Trauma-Informed Care—Because of past trauma that affects your child’s behavior and development, you should use gentle discipline and focus heavily on relationship building. Seek trauma-informed therapy to help create a sense of safety for them, teach them emotional regulation, give them coping strategies, and empathize with what they’ve gone through.
- Foster Social and Emotional Development—Some children with special needs such as autism may struggle with social situations. Whatever obstacle your child faces, work with them to find ways to make social interactions feel safe for them. If they’re overwhelmed by loud noises, keep activities calm or plan where they can go when they need a sensory break. Respect your child’s boundaries by letting them set the pace for physical affection and conversation. Validate their emotions and provide outlets like art, music, and journaling to help them express what they struggle to verbalize.
Always, taking care of yourself is essential when foster parenting, but especially when special needs come into play. These children can drain your energy tank—emotionally, physically, spiritually, and mentally. Do not minimize the importance of respite care or ever feel guilty for needing it. It could be a game-changer for you!
God’s heart turns toward these young ones you welcome into your home and choose to love wholeheartedly. Remember that He sees every sacrifice you make and all the elbow grease you expend. The journey may be challenging, but the blessings of seeing your special-needs child grow, learn, and thrive are immeasurable.
