May is National Foster Care Month and this year’s focus is on supporting the mental health needs of children and youth in foster care. Studies suggest that among the 391,000 children and youth in foster care, up to 80 percent exhibit a serious behavioral or mental health problem requiring intervention.
Adverse childhood experiences common to foster children often have long-term consequences, which is why it’s so important to identify them and address them as soon as possible. Common mental health disorders seen among foster care youth include:
- Post-traumatic stress disorder
- Reactive attachment disorder
- Anxiety disorder
- Depression
- Borderline personality disorder
- Social phobia
- Opposition defiant disorder
- Conduct disorder
- Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder
- Separation anxiety disorder
- Eating disorders
Foster care children often face emotional difficulties such as lack of self-worth and the need to be in control, which can make it hard to establish healthy, loving relationships.
Foster parents need to be alert and proactive in securing mental health support for their children. Mental health professionals are skilled at discussing symptoms, diagnoses, and treatments for foster kids. Without professional counseling or treatment, children in foster care may struggle to process, understand, and recover from their circumstances—and this can cause physical, mental, and emotional symptoms that can extend into adulthood.
Visit www.childwelfare.gov/fostercaremonth to learn more about these five tips to strengthen minds and uplift families:
- Nurture youth’s well-being early, often, and continuously. Don’t wait for the signs.
- Talk about mental health as needs and strengths rather than problems or issues.
- Recognize what culture has to offer. Incorporate traditions, practices, and community.
- Engage youth. Ask what type of support they need—including traditional and nontraditional options.
- Champion the well-being of families and caregivers to support youth’s mental health.
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5 Phrases to Avoid*
On your quest to raise mentally and emotionally strong kids, avoid using these five phrases:
- “Calm down!”
Instead, communicate that it’s OK to feel however you are feeling. But it’s important to pay attention to what you do with those feelings. Gently push them toward an activity you know will help them to calm down.
- “Don’t worry about it.”
It’s not helpful to tell your kids what to think. Telling a child not to worry will not make their worries go away. Try asking “What are some good things to do when you’re worried?”
- “You’ll do fine.”
You can’t always predict when your child will success or when they will suffer a disappointment. It’s better to say, “Get out there and do your best—and if it doesn’t go well, that’s OK.”
- “Don’t ever let me catch you doing that again.”
Since kids are sneaky, if you only warn them of the consequences of being caught, they’ll just learn to get better at hiding bad behavior. It’s better to say, “You’re going to do this again, and you’re going to be tempted to hide it. Here’s what we could do instead.”
- “You’re making me mad.”
The idea that your feelings can be affected by someone else’s behavior is counterproductive. We don’t want children growing up to blame other people for ruining their day or causing them to feel horrible. What we do want is for them to feel empowered how they think, feel, and behave. It’s better to say, “I don’t like the way that you’re acting; here’s what we could do instead.”
*From Verywell Mind, an online resource that provides guidance for improving your mental health and finding balance. Adapted from 7 Phrases Parents of Mentally Strong Kids Avoid Using When Raising Their Children by Amy Morin.
