Spotlight on Agape’s Families- A Foster Care to Adoption Story
God had put on my heart (Laura) to adopt an African-American teen for years. The first 14 years of my life I lived in Gary, Indiana and was blessed with friendships of every race. When I became a secondary math teacher in inner city Wichita, Kansas, there again I had the opportunity to be involved with youth of every race. In fact, while teaching, I met my first foster students. I watched as one was reunified and went through a difficult time with that. I also was amazed when I watched a Wednesday’s Child and realized that was Christine, a young African-American girl in my 7th hour. I knew that one day I would foster and adopt, whether as single or married.
In 2009, Jeff and I became licensed foster parents. We planned on fostering older kids, ages 8 to 17 or so. Our three biological children were 8, 7 and 5 when we became licensed. Our first two daughters were nearly fifteen years old and boy we learned a lot about fostering teens. There were many challenges but many opportunities for making a difference. In November of 2011, we were fortunate to adopt Yasmin and John who were 9 at the time (they are ten months apart in age.) But I kept telling my husband that we are going to adopt an African-American girl. I felt it in my heart.
In the fall of 2013 I began looking at websites for teen AA girls. I came across a picture and video of Gianna and definitely felt a pull toward her. In particular, she has requested a Christian family and I felt like we were that family for her. After sharing her picture and story with Jeff, we contacted the appropriate people and learned she was in a therapeutic group home because of some poor choices she had recently made. Were we still interested? Yes, we were!
I met Gianna for the first time on December 26, 2013 for our first two-hour visit. We met several times after that and she transitioned into our home the end of February, 2014. She was joining 6 other kids, ages 10 to 13 (soon to add another 14 year old, making it 8 kiddos!!). The transition had its ups and downs but we really stress communication in our home. She felt different…her hair, her skin color, she took meds,…I told her none of that mattered to me and that we loved her and that God had given her to us. She desperately wanted a family. Many teens who are legally free for adoption feel much the same as Gianna. As they get older and their chances for a family seem dimmer, they lost hope of ever finding a forever family. Because she was so grateful and glad to be a part of our family, she really wanted to fit in.
Gianna worked and continues to work at being a good daughter and sister. That is one of the biggest differences between fostering teens and adopting them. When you foster, there is always a chance for reunification so the teen may or may not feel the need to respect your house rules and/or try to become a part of the family. Gianna was eager to do both. I love that about her.
She has been the easiest child to join our family. She is being home-schooled along with three of our other children. The fact that she is with three of her siblings and her mom all day has accelerated the bonding process and having the Lord at the center of our relationships has deepened her walk with the Lord. Gianna has blossomed. We are so blessed to have her in our family. I am not saying she is perfect. No one is perfect. Jeff and I are far from perfect. But we are open and willing to expand our family to those teens who feel like their opportunity for a forever family may be slipping through the
cracks.
We asked Laura: What does a typical day look like in your family? When you have a large family, structure is very important. In our family, four kids are home-schooled and three attend public school. Every day we eat breakfast together. Three kids are assigned breakfast duty. Our three kids leave to school and we begin our day homeschooling. Two of our kids are in high school and the other two are 6th and 7th grade. A few kids are in cross country and a few are swimmers. Each day it seems like something is going on. Three kids are assigned dinner duty and we eat around 7. We have clean up and showers. If The Voice is on or The Biggest Loser we watch it but otherwise the kids play games or read or jump on the trampoline. Bedtime on a school night is 9 p.m.
We live a busy but quite normal life.
