You’ve completed your home study, and you’re all set to roll up your sleeves and foster … and then … you get a call about a sibling foursome in urgent need of placement. But you’re unsure, and doubts flood your mind. Are we ready? Can we really take on more than one child at a time and be what they need?
Remembering your “yes” to taking on sibling groups—and the compelling reasons why—you take a deep breath and declare “game on!” You already know down deep that these children are specifically yours to love.
If you’re contemplating the challenge of taking on sibling groups, consider these seven pieces of advice.
- Prepare for Their Arrival. Ensure that your home has adequate square footage to comfortably accommodate the siblings; each one will need some personal space for privacy and recharging. Also, create warm, inviting communal spaces for family activities and fun. Stock up on essentials like clothing, bedding, toiletries, and school supplies. When they see you’ve prepared for them, that can build the foundation of comfort and trust.
- Manage Individual Needs within the Group. First, get to know each child as a separate entity apart from their siblings. Learn each one’s personality, preferences, and most pressing needs—then be intentional to support these unique needs. Organize group activities, but also ensure each child receives one-to-one attention through individual conversations, special outings, and enjoying their favorite activities and hobbies with them.
- Support Emotional and Behavioral Needs. Provide access to quality professionals; sibling groups often have emotional and behavioral needs that will require this extra support. Then be intentional in praising the positive behavior you see, even if it presents in small increments. Make sure the children—both individually and collectively—know you’ve noticed you’re proud of them.
- Facilitate Education and Extracurricular Activities. Work closely with their schools to be certain each child’s educational needs are met. Attend parent-teacher conferences, offer to help with their homework without forcing it, monitor their progress, and advocate for any additional support they might require. Then encourage extracurriculars like sports, arts, or clubs as opportunities for socialization, skill development, and personal growth.
- Build a Strong Support Network. Join support groups to network with other foster families, share experiences and advice, and gain emotional support. Also, take advantage of community resources like respite care, financial assistance, and educational programs.
- Maintain Open Communication. Foster an environment where the children feel comfortable expressing their thoughts and feelings. Let them know they can come to you in any situation; this will build trust and allow you to address their concerns. When possible and appropriate, maintain connections with the children’s birth family through supervised visits, phone calls, or letters. These often provide more emotional support for the children.
- Manage Sibling Rivalry. Promote a sense of fairness and belonging throughout the group. Establish house rules around verbal and physical conflicts, including definitions and consequences. After communicating house rules, prove to the children that you consistently stand by those guidelines, and you do it for their good. With a loving, patient attitude—and a heart of mercy—follow through with consequences. Celebrate their achievements in getting along and living cooperatively. Make your home a safe, loving place for all of the children.
Careful preparation, building a structured environment, and providing emotional support will go a long way in creating a healthy, stable home where a sibling group can thrive. Without doubt, this journey will take lots of hard work, but helping sibling groups stay together and flourish can be one of the richest experiences you’ll ever know.
