What Caused You To Want To Become An Adoptive Family?

I have been a single mom for quite a while.  My two boys, Matthew and Stephen and I live in a house with a lot of space. It was after my former husband left me unexpected that I started taking in homeless people referred to me from my church.  In a period of a few years I had taken in 14 people. My counselor suggested that I consider foster care since I would have support behind me while I served others.  I asked my boys how they felt about it and they were all in.

What Was Your First Experience With Foster Care Like?

I had my license for less than 24 hours when I received a call asking if I would take twin 6 year old girls. I said yes! Then they called back and asked if I would have any issue with the fact they were from a different racial group than myself.  I laughed as I said of course not…I signed up for the children God wanted to be with me…race didn’t matter.  After I got off the phone, I panicked.  You see, I don’t do hair very well. I’ve always said that was why God gave me boys!  I called a family friend and said to please pray the girls didn’t have a lot of hair. Ok…so God has a sense of humor.  My girls arrived and they each had at least 40 braids!  I was so thankful for my close friends and across the street neighbors who helped me deal with the hair until I learned. I quickly found out my biggest fear was unfounded. Later that afternoon, the girls asked me if I was a mom. I told them yes. A little later I heard “Mom…Mom,” calling from upstairs and I realized they were calling me.I remember going to bed that night with a smile on my face realizing I finally had some girls. A few weeks later we amended my license to get their little sister to join us since she was sad being separated from them.  I also need to add, my very first case manager from CPS was spectacular. Between her and Agape, it made my first fostering experience really smooth going.

How Long Have You Been Involved in Foster Care/Adoption and How Has It Affected Your Immediate Family?

I have been fostering for almost 3 years now. I have had 19 children with 20 placements (one had to return to care and we were able to get a bed for her in my home). I am so fortunate for my two biological sons. They have accepted these children as a part of our family. They love them, play with them, tease them…treat them like family. I made sure they were okay with my decision before I got my license. I think that is why it has gone so smoothly. They have helped me so much. The children who have come into our home have called them their brothers without hesitation.  I am so blessed. I miss their help now that my 22 year old has moved into his own home and my 19 year old is away at college. They do come home frequently, though and help as I need them.

To What Extent Has Your Families Embraced This Work?

Not only my boys, but my extended family has totally embraced my involvement in foster care. I have taken my foster children to my family reunions in California every year. I have taken them on vacations with me. I’ve had family members mail me gifts for my foster children when they come to live with us. And I’d say not only my “blood family” but my “family by choice” have been fantastic in my journey. I can’t tell you how often I have come home and found bags of clothes and toys in my courtyard. There’s not always a note, but it’s always left with love for the children in my home.

You’re Constantly Giving of Yourself. To Whom Do You Look for Inspiration?

I look to God! He is the reason I do this. Fostering is not a job, it is truly a calling. God has called us to care for the widows and orphans. There are times when I think what am I doing?  I am a single mom.  How can I do this? Then I remember that God doesn’t put us somewhere without giving us the ability to do the job He has called us to do.

What One Thing Would You Like Prospective Foster Parents to know about Foster Care?

I want you to remember to take care of yourself, not just your foster children. Also, if you have biological children, make sure you are meeting their needs and still making them a priority.  It is so easy to be overwhelmed with appointments and issues, but you need to take time to relax and take care of you. Know your resources (i.e., Agape) and call on your resources when you need help. There are many people out there who can help you, but if you don’t ask, they don’t know.

What Has Been The Funniest Moment For You As A Foster Parent?

There have been many humorous moments, but I think one of the ones that stands out was when I had been fostering for only a few months. I had used my son’s new car to drive the children to daycare before I went to work.  I didn’t realize I had my brights on (it was December) and I ended up getting pulled over by a sheriff officer.  He told me what I did and I corrected my ways. He said to have a good day and I continued down the road. All of a sudden, out of the back seat came a little “Whew…I thought you were going to get arrested!”  We had a good laugh, but it also reminded me we don’t always know where our children are coming from and how their brains might work in a given situation.

A Typical Day In The Life Of A Foster Parent Looks Like…

Well, besides being a foster parent, I teach high school. I have to be there by 6:50 a.m., so my day starts at about 5am. I get up a little earlier than my children so I have a little quiet time before everything starts. After I get ready, I get their toothbrushes ready, and start by waking my girls up. It takes a little longer to get their hair done, so they are first.  After they are ready to get dressed, I wake my little boy up and get him going. I usually run downstairs first to put dinner in the crock pot so we have some time later. Then it’s downstairs for the kids and shoes on, followed by getting into the car and getting all booster seats properly fastened. A quick trip down the road to the best daycare in the whole wide world and we’re taking seat belts off and walking in. Here we have a rule that everyone holds the door for each other so we can learn to help each other. Then they are eating breakfast and saying hello to their friends. I run off to my job and spend a whole lot of time there. While there, I am emailing their teachers, case managers, etc., and trying to make all our appointments during my prep time. School day is over and I’m picking children up to take to appointments and/or to just home for a while. If we have a rare day with no appointments, the kids get to play at day care and I get a few minutes alone after grocery shopping! 🙂  Then, it’s home we go and the kids are getting homework done (if not completed at daycare) and then it’s time for dinner (which is waiting for me!), showers, a little television, and then bed…for them.  For me, that’s time to get stuff done around the house and hopefully get to bed by 11 so I can get up in the morning and do it all over again. 🙂