What Caused You To Want To Become An Adoptive Family? Four years ago we began our journey to have another child. It was my hearts desire to have a son. We spent about two years trying to conceive naturally. Because we had two
biological children of our own, we did not expect any difficulty getting pregnant. Unfortunately, it did not happen like we planned as we endured a lot of disappointments and some physical complications. We continued to seek God’s
guidance and felt He spoke and said He had another plan for us…we were to adopt a child who needs a loving family.
What This Your First Time Adopting? Yes, this was our first time adopting. The adoption process
was quite easy. However, we adopted our son through foster care and that process was not as easy. We were informed of the difficulty associated with the foster/adopt process during our training, but it was still challenging at times to work through.
How Long Did You Wait Before You Were Matched With A Child? We were matched with our child approximately seven days after our foster care license was approved. Prior to being matched with Zayne, we were receiving calls for
other children that were outside of our license certification such as girls or older than what we were licensed for. This was very disappointing and sad that we knew children were coming into care that we had to turn down. I wish DCS would have paid more attention to what we were licensed for.
What Was It Like To Build A Secure Attachment With Your Son? What Kinds of Behaviors And Challenges
Did You Overcome? It was very easy to build a secure attachment with our son! He was only 8 weeks old when he came to us. As he has gotten older, he has always been very loving and sweet towards us. The only challenges we had to overcome were related to dealing with DCS and the very slow process getting to the point of severance.
How Has This Adoption Affected Your Family and Friends? Our biological children have come to understand that all children do not have parents that provide a safe environment for them or take care of them properly. Learning how to love a child that is not blood-related has made us all love each other deeper and appreciate the family we have.
To What Extent Has Your Family Embraced Your Decision to Adopt A Child? We have been fortunate to have our family be very supportive throughout this entire process. They all fell in love with our son the minute they met him!
From Whom Does Your Family Seek Inspiration? Our family seeks inspiration from our Pastor. They have been and continue to be an excellent support system to us. We also seek inspiration from the Foster and Adoptive Parents Facebook network.
What Have Been The Best Parts of Your Adoption Experience? Really, the best part is having the adoption be final and having our family complete with the addition of our son.
What Have Been The Worst Parts of Your Adoption Experience? The worst part of our adoption experience was dealing with DCS during the foster process. Our case worker did not tell us that a family member had come forward, the home study was done and DCS was recommending placement with this aunt until the CPC was about to take place. Instead of finding out in March when the aunt came forward, we did not find out until September when DCS was ready to move him from our home into hers. This caused a lot of unnecessary stress and panic to our family.
What Do You Want Other Potential Adoptive Parents to Know About Your Adoption Experience? That it is not always a glorious or pleasant journey, but the reward after it is all done is worth it. You just need to understand that this process can be very frustrating and emotionally draining, but you must endure the negative because there is a child out there
that needs you…you need to fight for them.
What Were Your Emotions When You First Met Your Child? I was in awe. I could not believe this little baby boy was in my arms. Even after all this time, I am still in awe. I still can’t believe that it is possible to love a baby that I didn’t give birth to as much as I love him.
What Has The Adoption Experience Been Like For Your Other Children? Our daughters are five years apart and argue a lot. They don’t show a lot of affection towards each other, but show a lot of love and concern, and are very protective of their little brother. They have become a lot more loving and aware of their actions because they know their little brother is looking up to them.
Monica, What Has It Been Like To Get To Watch Damien Be The Father To Your Son? I struggle to find the words to describe how happy my heart is to see Damian with his son. He has so much love for Zayne. The fact that he is not his
biological son, or even of the same race as him makes absolutely no difference in how he treats Zayne. Damian loves sports and Zayne loves sports so it is going to be so wonderful watching Damian teach his son sports as he grows as I know that is
something he has always dreamed of.
Damien, What Has It Been Like To Get To Watch Monica Be The Mother To Your Son? It’s been my joy to see Monica become a mother to a son. We already have two girls so the boy brings a different dynamic to our family. He likes
to play with footballs, baseballs, he likes to play in the dirt and jump off of any furniture he can climb. This is much different than the girls we have. Our girls are much more reserved and don’t explore as much. It’s funny watching Zayne fall down, seeing Monica run to his aid, seeing Zayne get up laughing and start playing again. That’s just one of the joys of having a son.
What Were Some of Your Greatest Hopes and Fears Adopting From Fostercare? Our greatest hope was that we would be able to adopt the first baby boy from foster care that was placed with us. Our biggest fear was that it would take a long time before we were blessed with our son.
What Are Your Hopes For Zayne’s Future? Our hope is to give him all the opportunities he needs to live to his full capacity. We hope that he continues to be the loving and sweet boy he is and that he grows to become a loving, caring, compassionate, successful man who loves The Lord and free from any addiction or other harmful habits.
What Are Your Plans For Keeping Zayne Connected To His History & Culture? We have developed a friendship with Zayne’s birth mother and paternal grandmother. Zayne and I met with Cassandra (Zayne’s birth mother) yesterday because she said she had a gift to give him for his birthday. She was so happy to see him and he ran to her when he saw her…it
was very touching. Zayne’s paternal grandma, aunt, uncle, great-grandmother and great-grand father came to our “Forever Family Party” when we adopted him. As long as it is a positive experience for Zayne, We plan on continuing to keep in contact with his birth family.
